Personal Post: Going Too Far
Hey Everybody,
It’s been a while since we’ve had a Personal Post on here, but something happened to me this past Monday that I really wanted to discuss. I’m wondering if the diabetic community will think I overreacted, or if I was justifiably angry at what happened.
On Monday I had my 6 month endo-appointment. In fact, I had every appointment under the sun ( regular doctor, dentist, and endocrinologist) because I like to get them done all in one shot.
Anyhow, this time I wasn’t seeing my normal doctor. She now teaches full-time at a nearby college, and only works in the hospital one day a week. Being that I now live in Manhattan, and getting time to head to Upstate New York is becoming more and more difficult, I just scheduled an appointment with one of the other professionals on her team, who works in the adjacent building.
So, new endo, new medical assistants. Yippee.
I got there at two. After waiting a few minutes, a man in his early 30′s called me into the office. We did the usual: step on the scale ( 200 pounds? Time to invest in a gym membership…), measure your height ( a statuesque 6’1”), and then he sat me in a chair to take my blood pressure. He wrapped my arm up, and set the machine to start contracting.
Then he immediately grabbed my hand, stabbed my fingers, and started squeezing the blood out.
I snapped. “What are you doing?!”
“I’m just getting your A1C. You’ve done this before.”
“Yeah, I have.” I stared at him. “But I’m not some little kid you need to sneak up on–just tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Touchy,” he said, ” I’ll ask you next time.”
I was pissed. I’m 22 years old. I’ve had diabetes for a decade. Don’t sneakily grab my hand, prick it, and forcibly squeeze out the blood. It’s rude and insulting, and I didn’t get the point. Did he think he could do it better than me, despite the fact I’ve been testing for 10 years?
Needless to say, that set the tone for the rest of the visit, with the doctor second guessing everything I was doing to take care of myself ( despite the fact that my A1C was 6.0). I walked away from the appointment with steam coming out of my ears. I’ve been thinking about it for the past few days, and now I want to put it to the community.
So…did I overreact? Have you ever dealt with something like that before? Was it rude or was he just doing his job?
Let me know what you think in the comments below, or on facebook.
Until Next Time
–Nick
Nope. You didn’t over react. I probably would have punch the guy.
No one stabs my fingers except for me.
You didn’t overreact. Whether you’ve had diabetes for ten years or ten days, it seems his conduct was obnoxious and unprofessional. His job is to respectfully care for and, in a way, educate and motivate patients to better care for themselves. Talking down to you like a child does none of those things.
I once confessed to an endo that part of the reason I didn’t bring logs of my BGs was because I knew that they were bad and I didn’t want to get scolded for it. He explained (nicely) that I was being ridiculous; we’re both adults (he’s not my parent) and any indications of poor control only affect me, not him. I should be my own critic, and he’s just there to help when I need it. I felt silly for not realizing that before. From your story, it sounds like patients aren’t the only ones who make those mistakes.
I don’t think you were wrong at all. When I am unhappy with how I was treated, I usually sit down and write a letter to either the person’s supervisor or the head of the institution. A letter stating your bad experience never looks good in someone’s personnel file. After that, I would set about looking for a new endo. You can’t work successfully with a doctor you’re not comfortable with.
No overreaction on your part, plenty on his. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had diabetes for a decade or an hour, whether you’re two, twenty two, or 102. Medical professionals need to understand that you’re human and show you the same respect they would demand for themselves. I’ve worked as a pediatric RN, in critical care, and hospice. No matter the age, the temperament, or the suspected outcome, it’s our obligation to talk to people, tell them what we’re about to do, and do so with compassion and permission. (Okay, the permission part with kids might be a stretch, but I still tell them what I’m about to do, even let them handle all the equipment before I ‘do’ anything. I’ve had two year olds sit in mom or dad’s lap while getting an IV when the first course of action by colleagues would have been to papoose the kid against his or her will – not the way to start off a relationship that can only go downhill from there!)
Your post hits on something important. The first encounter in any medical setting sets the tone for the entire visit, whether that’s entering via the ER, going to surgery, and then to floor care, or a routine office visit starting with vitals and lab draws. Research has shown time and time again, the first person you encounter, and how they treat you, colors the entire visit. Sounds like the office you go to needs to revisit those studies and apply the training recommendations – at least with the guy you say. And chances are, he knows it. Why else utter the incredibly rude and unprofessional “Touchy.” comment?
As for the endo, it’s a partnership, not a dictatorship or confession. You aren’t visiting them to wait for their judgement of your progress, but to acknowledge what’s going well and troubleshoot things that aren’t. When our clinic asked why I wanted to change my daughter’s endo, I handed them an article on the social/ emotional aspect of the doctor patient relationship with a sticky note that read, “Can you think of many other chronic conditions in which this partnership is any more important? Everything our kids eat, the activities and sports they choose, how they sleep, every aspect of their lives, including the social ones, has some influence or interplay in diabetic care and health. Our kids need a partner with whom they can traverse this sometimes rocky path, not an alter ego who sits in judgement of their actions. If you had diabetes, which doctors in this clinic would you want to see? “
No, you didn’t over react.
What about common human courtesy? You deserve to be informed of what is about to happen and given the opportunity to respond, and explicitly give permission before your health care professional proceeds with your permission. That’s the way it should happen, even if the same routine is followed upon every visit. I am glad you spoke up for yourself. I hope by doing so you stopped it from ever happening again to yourself, and other people.
Whenever a health person does any kind of test or procedure that should always tell you what they are about to do so that there are no surprises and to answer any questions.
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought
Cheers!
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